Today is my daughter’s 3rd Birthday! It is also the 5th anniversary of my Maternal Grandmother’s passing. As bizarre as it sounds, I prayed for it to happen this way! I was given a mid-July due date, and I immediately began to pray for my daughter to come on July 3rd or 13th, my grandmother’s death and burial date, respectively. I wanted to replace a sad/solemn day with a celebration of life; the life of my daughter.
The language you speak to yourself, and over yourself, greatly influences your day-to-day actions, and energy!
I learned of my pregnancy, two months shy of my 30th birthday. I was not married and, as mentioned in Starting with WHY…, and I was very concerned about how having a child would affect my career. I knew that I wanted to go through with my pregnancy, but needed to find comfort in my decision, for myself. About a week into knowing, I began to jot down things that were important to me in motherhood and during my pregnancy. I told myself to forget the noise, ALL NOISE, and to enjoy a beautiful and healthy experience. If you ever notice, people never share the good aspects of pregnancy. You hear the horror stories about morning sickness, long labor and unbearable contractions. It’s really unavoidable! So, I stayed away from mom blogs, negative people and energy, and literally travel the world up until a week before I delivered my daughter. I had a beautiful pregnancy from start to finish. No sickness, weight gain, or discomfort. It was truly a peaceful and transformative stage in my life.
My work life, really just one manager, attempted to take away that peace, on a daily basis! Like asking me to dog sit (his two big dogs) for him, at like 7 months, while he traveled overseas for work. Ummm it was a NO and that “NO” really affected my time at that employer. This was the same manager who told me “You’re not married” when I told him I was pregnant. He would treat me like pregnancy was a handicap, bypassing me for several opportunities and saying somewhat offensive things. He also called me, about 6 weeks into maternity leave, and told me that I needed to return to work the following Monday, when I had already cleared for 12 weeks. I didn’t and in spite of his efforts to be the biggest nuisance, I pressed forward.
On July 1, 2015, I went to the doctor for an ultrasound and the machine malfunctioned. The nurse had me laying on my back for about 45 mins, while they attempted to repair it. After leaving that visit I began to have mild contractions. These contractions were pretty spacious, and they’d go away for hours at a time. The following day, I found myself nesting; cleaning everything in sight, and on July 3rd, just pass midnight, the contractions were more frequent. About 9 hours later, I gave birth to my daughter! Minimal pain and about 5 minutes of pushing, I delivered a healthy baby girl!
…the power of what we speak over ourselves…
This could be a complete coincidence, I will never know. However, what I’ve gained from the experience, is the power of what I speak over myself. Rather it be in motherhood, my career or any other aspect of my life, I began to give special care to the experiences that I wanted to have.
The language you speak to yourself, and over yourself, greatly influences your day-to-day actions, and energy! If you’re a mom that desires entrepreneurship, you should be setting goals that are consistent with such. Conversely, if you continue to convince yourself that you don’t have time, resources or whatever “it” may be, then you will regress from achieving what you want.
Begin with the ending in mind, and be willing to work, to make it a reality
I told myself, for a while, that my career goal was to work for J&F Advisors (my then side hustle) full-time, and to teach part-time at a major university. I quit my full-time job in March of this year to become a full-time entrepreneur. While still at my full-time job, I was asked to speak on an accounting panel at my alma mater. During the panel an accounting professor dropped in, and introduced himself as the Finance and Accounting Department Head. Immediately after the panel, I introduced myself and asked him the process for becoming an adjunct professor. He mentioned that there were no opportunities at the time, but wanted me to send him my resume.
Be kind to yourself, encourage yourself, and practice speaking life into your goals and ambitions.
Approximately two weeks later, the school called me back, and asked if J&F Advisors would be interested in setting up a recruiting table for a day. We agreed to. THEN, a week or so after that, I got a phone call from the Dean of the B-School. He told me that there was an Assistant Professor opening, and that he’d received my resume from the department head. He further went on to say, “If you want the job, apply to it and it’s yours. I’d just like to meet you to put a face with a name.” I went to meet him the same day, which was a Monday or Tuesday. That Friday, I was given an offer to teach my first accounting class at a major university, THIS COMING FALL (insert hands raised emoji).
Today, I am a full-time entrepreneur and will begin teaching NEXT MONTH. I sat a goal for myself, and by taking, what I thought were small steps in the right direction, ended up manifesting exactly what I asked for, a lot sooner than intended.