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Your Friends Don’t Have to Support You!

Your Friends Don’t Have to Support You!

We all know about the constant circulation of meme’s that discuss how people who don’t know you, support you before your friends do, or expressing how the lack of support from friends affect the individual. Essentially, people get REALLY offended  when friends and family don’t support their business, ideas, and/or events. Let it go! I’ll say it again, LET. IT. GO.

“…they don’t understand your line of business…”

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In the moments that I need my friends, they are and have always been there. Rather or not they choose to support my business endeavors are an added bonus, and do not compare to the ways they have contributed to my life, otherwise!

I am really about focusing on the things I have rather than the things I don’t have. I have, what one may consider, A LOT (probably a solid 10) of GOOD friends! I mean, women that I’m close to, that I consider more like sisters, than friends.  To my knowledge, only one of them reads Corporate Momming, two of them have patronized my accounting firm, and I’m completely fine with that.  I guess I will find out if there are more that do, after reading this. My point is, I am not looking to see who is reading and who is not.  In fact, I sometimes send them blogs, that I think they’d be interested in. I do not think they are bad friends, or that they don’t care about me.  The truth is, I am focused on providing a good product for the people who are supporting my endeavors.

It is a very kind gesture for your friends to support your entrepreneurial efforts, very kind.  It is not a requirement.  Further, I think it is somewhat selfish to place that expectation on your friends. They are adults with busy lives, and personal obligations that impact how they move and what they do. Their lack of support does not indicate malicious intent, and it’s no reason to take it personal, unless you’re otherwise concerned about their commitment to the friendship.

“I don’t think that it’s really fair to guilt trip a friend for not supporting.”

For the most part, I consider myself to be pretty involved and active in supporting whatever my friends are working on.  In general, I consider to be very giving of my time, support, and knowledge when it comes to those I love!  That’s a VERY hard commitment to make, and in general I think it takes a very thoughtful and generous person to willingly and constantly support every time you drop a new item, read every blog post, or shout you out because you’re popping, lol!  Come on.

I don’t think that it’s really fair to guilt trip a friend for not supporting.  It could be that they don’t understand your line of business, or don’t have a need for the product you’re offering.  It could also be worse; your friends could be asking you to provide free/discounted services, or they could just be difficult to work with, because of the relationship.  Lets also consider, critiques from your friends and family could sting a lot more, than from those you don’t consider close.  So there are pros and cons on either side.

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Walk in your light, focusing and making the best of what you DO have! -Robyn

Ultimately , your focus should start and end with the people who are supporting you. Those are your people, as far as your business is concerned. Yes, we are human and we will consider where support is lacking.  However, you have to make a choice to focus on the people who are assigned to you, and how that assignment can grow as a result of the service you provide.  As I mentioned, it is a kind and thoughtful gesture, when friends support!  Please remember this: If God placed these ideas on your heart, He will give you everything you need to succeed in that endeavor!

 

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Boundaries: Where Necessary

Boundaries: Where Necessary

Boundary: a line that marks a limit.

Having real boundaries set, were not a real thing to me until I had a child. There were boundaries that I had subconsciously set, based on my moral compass, and time.  However, having a child made me really think about things that I could no longer allow or participate in, to ensure I was spending my time and energy where it was most important, with my child.

As I begin to grow in motherhood and as an entrepreneur, I began to set more and more boundaries. Boundaries were necessary in order for me to be to be organized, to have peace, and ultimately to be successful.  I was, initially, very reactive in setting boundaries, setting them only after a point of frustration.  Then I realized the benefit of proactively setting them to avoid frustration, confusion, and wasted time.  I also learned that when setting boundaries, I had to eliminate emotional inhibitions.  I couldn’t be concerned with how people would feel (if my heart was in the right place) and I had to focus on what was best for my child and my personal success.

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I almost considered going back to work!

I almost considered going back to work!

I was ready to go back to work last week.

What the hell? I was ready to go back to work last week.  I called my business partner and told her.  I think I am about to start looking for a job, and I was serious!  Thank God she didn’t really entertain me too much, she just said “I understand”, lol!  My best friend told me, “You need time with your child, just ride the wave.”  The next day,  I was completely fine.  In fact, I’m overwhelmed with work and totally against going back to work now, LOL.

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If I Don’t Kill, We Don’t Eat!

If I Don’t Kill, We Don’t Eat!

“If I don’t kill, we don’t eat!”

Three years ago, my daughter came into my life! I did not come into hers, and I do not move in a fashion that suggests such, either. I don’t mean that in a mean or aggressive way, more so in a realistic way! I am often asked, how I handle and how I balance.  The answer is, how I always have.  I get it done!  I don’t make excuses for myself, and I definitely don’t use her as an excuse! If I don’t kill, then we don’t eat. So, I do what I have to do, it’s simple. I focus on one thing, getting it done! I have moved this way since she was born, and so, this is second nature for us.

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The Power Trip

“Being powerful means helping someone else find their voice.”

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POWER.  What comes to mind when you think of being in power? Being in control, in charge, strong – flexing your muscle, having it ALL.  That sounds like power, right? Power is having the ability to orchestrate the results you want in a given situation; it is having the wherewithal to delegate and to make decisions that will largely affect others.

WRONG!!! Power is leadership, and how your leadership can impact those led by you! It is using your position and resources to benefit others, in a positive light! Power is using your leadership to inspire and create more leaders. “Lifting as we Climb”, a mantra coined by the National Association of Black Accountants, is what having power is all about.

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Fail Early – Fail Often – Fail Upward

Fail Early – Fail Often – Fail Upward

“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” – Henry Ford

Failure, defined as a lack of success, and the omission of expected or required action.  It is mentioned with negative connotations and associations of shame.  I challenge you today to replace point of view, and magnify all failure as data points – data points for what will not work, measurements for improving, and understanding your resilience.

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TEDx Detroit: Insightful AF

“I’m rooting for everybody black” ~ Issa Rae

As a long-time follower of TED Talks via YouTube, I was very excited to attend my first TEDx event in my hometown, Detroit! For those of you that don’t know, TEDx is a locally curated version of TED Talks; and local entrepreneurs come and share their ideas, or their atypical paths to success. Based on the individuals selected to share, the consideration given to diversity was very clear.  No two speakers or performances were alike, and the organization and execution was flawless. It was the first time in a while, that I’d gone to a conference and had been fully engaged the entire time!

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My name tag, and Shinola Journal (for note-taking).

Needless to say, there were a lot valuable takeaways, and in true Corporate Momming fashion, I’m here to share! There were sooooo many jewels dropped.  However, here are my top 10:

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