No One Sees the Work I’m Doing!

No One Sees the Work I’m Doing!

“…impact, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder”

Before you read this post, lets first get out of head that popularity means you’re not doing purposeful work.  That is the FURTHEST from the truth. There’s nothing wrong with being popular!

group hand fist bump
Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

Now that we got that out the way, let’s get to it! It’s been a minute!!! I’ve been away, deep in Tax Season Valley!  My busy season (kind of) ended last week, and I “celebrated” by having a spa day!  I stayed behind and enjoyed the amenities this time, and used the alone time to really reflect on the work I’d done, and will continue to do, going forward.  One thing I asked myself was, “What do I want my impact to be?”  I further thought on if I’m moving in a way that communicates that, AND do people SEE me doing this work?  I thought about how impact, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.  What is impactful to me, may not be impactful to the next.  I also asked myself, would I continue to do the work, if I never got recognition, but was sure that I was making impact.

Continue reading “No One Sees the Work I’m Doing!”

Advertisements

Therapy: A Game Changer

Therapy: A Game Changer

Late last year, I began my love affair with therapy! Quite literally, one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life.  My decision to go was very impromptu and impulsive, but this is the one time that I was truly appreciative of my impulsive nature. I did not go because I was suicidal, depressed, or mentally ill!  I went because I wanted to dump…Dump a ton of SHIT, on someone who won’t judge me and that is paid to LISTEN to understand, and not reply.

IMG_7415

So the back story is, I lived in Chicago for a stint, and while living there, I feel like all of my girl-friends went to therapy.  I never really gave it much attention, it was more like an “O, that must be the thing to do here.”  So, as I tell you guys in every single post, I quit my job last year in March, and became a full-time entrepreneur. I remember there was a month, that was just a struggle (pay your small businesses on time) and I was ready to go back to a 9-5 for about 5 hours.  The day after, we were good and paid, and the ebbs and flows of being an entrepreneur continued (with the rest of life) and I decided, I wanted a therapist.

If you’re anything like me, when I want something, I simply can not stop thinking about it, until I make it happen.  So being an entrepreneur, I wasn’t sure that my health insurance covered therapy.  I called and, it did!  I immediately began my search for an African-American, female therapist, because….well, HELLO!

So I found my therapist, and I remember I had like a two-week window before my first appointment.  Those two weeks were brutal because I drove myself crazy thinking about what I wanted to dump firs: work, single-parenthood, dating, new ideas, etc.  Turns out I covered it all, in one hour (LOL), and ever since then, I’ve been back every week!  I am no longer dumping, but I am just having general life conversations with my therapist.

Let me explain to you how much I love therapy (*cues Tony Braxton “Count the Ways”):

  1. My therapist is SIGNIFICANTLY older that me! Old enough to be my grandparent! No shade.  I don’t think she’s a 100% perfect fit for me, because she doesn’t 100% relate to a 34-year-old.  HOWEVER, I really appreciate the blunt and unbothered aura that comes with an aging woman.  I will at some point look for another therapist, but I have gotten comfortable.  So, she’ll probably have to put me out first.
  2. I don’t have any “real” problems, but therapy feels so healthy for me, that I don’t see myself stopping anytime soon.  My therapist recommended that I come once a month, instead of every week, and I was like, “Nahhh, ummm let’s try bi-weekly, first!” I tried bi-weekly and I told her, “Nope, I’ll see you next week…not interested.” It’s my me time, and it literally feels good to just talk through my week.  I look forward to therapy, every week!  It’s the one time a week, that I put work on pause.
  3. Therapy really allows me the opportunity to think through and resolve life in a way that just feels good!   My therapist does not listen to my scenarios and offer solutions.  Instead we talk, and the conversations inspire new ways of thinking and processing behaviors and events, that I encounter daily.  In the event, I don’t agree with something, or something doesn’t apply, I leave it right there, in that room.

IMG_7406

I talk very candidly about going to therapy, and I encourage my close friends to go, as well.  Now, what’s hilarious is, whenever I’ve told a guy that I go to therapy, there’s always a short pause, LMBO, as if they think somethings wrong with me.  It’s quite funny!  However, I always ignore them, and I really try to normalize it for everyone I encounter! As I navigate through working and engaging, I am shocked to encounter other women who are married, single, and of many stages in life, attending therapy!  It’s refreshing to know, that we are taking care of our mental health!

Therapy, has been a game changer for me.  It’s really a form of self-care that I don’t intend on stopping anytime soon!

Busy, but I aint Complaining’!

 “In my busyness, I have learned to give God thanks…”

gray double bell clock
There’s not enough time, in a day…but what else is new?

Oh, hey y’all!  Happy New Year!  I took much of January off from writing to focus solely on my accounting practice and prepare for the upcoming busy season.  So I’m back (kind of) to discuss how I manage my season of business, and the potential stress of it all!

Have you ever been so busy, that you begin to complain about it? Not sleeping, not eating (properly or at all), or even having enough time to do the things you need to do.  Very stressful, right? RIGHT!   Well…Welcome to my January – April of TWENTY-EVERY YEAR! It’s my busy season, as I am an accountant, and Co-Owner of J&F Advisors, PLLC (book your appointment online *wink*).  This is the time of year where I have to miss a ton of invites, and my friends wonder if I’m acting funny because I don’t call!

Being busy use to really take a toll on me, until one day I had an epiphany! I was complaining about what I’d asked God to allow me to do! My prayers went a something like this, “God give me the knowledge and tools to grow my business.  Help me to find favor amongst many, and the ability to present a favorable product to my clients.”  Super good prayer!  I didn’t think about what that growth and favor looked like, then; but I can SURELY tell you what it looks like now!  It looks like….BUSY!

woman sitting on black chair near brown table
Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

I am constantly multitasking, running from one meeting to the next, scrambling for time, and usually running out.  In my busyness, I have learned to give God thanks, and to pray for the strength, willingness, and hunger to go after it all.  I’ve also prayed for God to deliver me from this season of busyness, as he sees fit, because only He knows how I want to spend a week on a beach for my birthday (which falls during busy season).

The other option of complaining and being unappreciative; let me tell you exactly where that got me: moody, stressed out, and burnt out!  Changing my perspective, changed my enthusiasm around the hard work that’s required to be a business owner, or to work a job at all!  Heavy is the head that wears the crown. It helped me to realize that the very things I pray for, require hard work, tenacity, resilience, and PATIENCE!

person people woman hand

Let’s not dismiss that fact that we get tired with everything that Mom’s juggle, and please don’t ever think that to be successful you have to skip out on sleep!  I am a night owl, naturally; I also understand the value in rest! Running on empty will  have you in a race that you’ll never win!  So, I am not suggesting that you don’t get rest!  Instead, I’m shedding a little light to say, appreciate your season of busyness, and work and pray for it’s ending.  Realize that it’s apart of the “Glow Up”, and move along with your day!  You got this, baby girl!

If the Panty Fits, Wear it!

If the Panty Fits, Wear it!

All underwear, are not created equal, and wearing the wrong underwear can turn your attire from business casual to inappropriate. Whether you’re  fat, skinny, tall or short, this conversation applies to you! This is a lesson that can and should be applied to your attire in and out of the workplace.  Your underwear, should never spill out excessive butt, hips, or stomach, and doing so, can ultimately take your outfit from class (or simply cute) to trash. Honey attracts bees, and we want to be sure to that we are sending the appropriate and intended message.

We are living in a time where over exposure is welcomed and appreciated.  If that’s what you enjoy, this conversation isn’t for you (if it don’t apply, let it fly). Instead I am talking to women who are looking to uphold an image of class, while maintaining a clean and professional look. Having the wrong undergarments can immediately diminish your look, and I’d imagine is not the most comfortable.

Continue reading “If the Panty Fits, Wear it!”

The Detroit MomBoss: For the WIN

The Detroit MomBoss: For the WIN

I am surrounded and CONSTANTLY influenced by the hustle, hearts, elegance, charisma and GANGSTA of all the Girl Bosses in Detroit! I mean, Detroit women have a presence about them, that is undeniable and of all the places I’ve been, I’ve never seen women hustle (in heels) like WE do! By no means, is this shade, to women from any other place, but Detroit women have “IT”, okay? It doesn’t matter where they live, or what they are doing.  Having Detroit, in their DNA, sets them apart.

My purpose in starting Corporate Momming was to inspire moms to go after the things they’re passionate about, and still KILL at motherhood, simultaneously.  Doing so requires a circle of people you can be inspired by, and who you SEE carrying out the same things that make you go “WOW, she’s killing it, WITH a baby on her hip!” – and by baby, I don’t literally mean an infant, I am more so highlighting the fact that they are moms!  Rather they are your friends,  friends in your head or people you follow on IG, I am 100% sure that you can find women from Detroit, that are doing the DAMN THANG!

Continue reading “The Detroit MomBoss: For the WIN”

Your Friends Don’t Have to Support You!

Your Friends Don’t Have to Support You!

We all know about the constant circulation of meme’s that discuss how people who don’t know you, support you before your friends do, or expressing how the lack of support from friends affect the individual. Essentially, people get REALLY offended  when friends and family don’t support their business, ideas, and/or events. Let it go! I’ll say it again, LET. IT. GO.

“…they don’t understand your line of business…”

IMG_9437 2
In the moments that I need my friends, they are and have always been there. Rather or not they choose to support my business endeavors are an added bonus, and do not compare to the ways they have contributed to my life, otherwise!

I am really about focusing on the things I have rather than the things I don’t have. I have, what one may consider, A LOT (probably a solid 10) of GOOD friends! I mean, women that I’m close to, that I consider more like sisters, than friends.  To my knowledge, only one of them reads Corporate Momming, two of them have patronized my accounting firm, and I’m completely fine with that.  I guess I will find out if there are more that do, after reading this. My point is, I am not looking to see who is reading and who is not.  In fact, I sometimes send them blogs, that I think they’d be interested in. I do not think they are bad friends, or that they don’t care about me.  The truth is, I am focused on providing a good product for the people who are supporting my endeavors.

It is a very kind gesture for your friends to support your entrepreneurial efforts, very kind.  It is not a requirement.  Further, I think it is somewhat selfish to place that expectation on your friends. They are adults with busy lives, and personal obligations that impact how they move and what they do. Their lack of support does not indicate malicious intent, and it’s no reason to take it personal, unless you’re otherwise concerned about their commitment to the friendship.

“I don’t think that it’s really fair to guilt trip a friend for not supporting.”

For the most part, I consider myself to be pretty involved and active in supporting whatever my friends are working on.  In general, I consider to be very giving of my time, support, and knowledge when it comes to those I love!  That’s a VERY hard commitment to make, and in general I think it takes a very thoughtful and generous person to willingly and constantly support every time you drop a new item, read every blog post, or shout you out because you’re popping, lol!  Come on.

I don’t think that it’s really fair to guilt trip a friend for not supporting.  It could be that they don’t understand your line of business, or don’t have a need for the product you’re offering.  It could also be worse; your friends could be asking you to provide free/discounted services, or they could just be difficult to work with, because of the relationship.  Lets also consider, critiques from your friends and family could sting a lot more, than from those you don’t consider close.  So there are pros and cons on either side.

img_0935
Walk in your light, focusing and making the best of what you DO have! -Robyn

Ultimately , your focus should start and end with the people who are supporting you. Those are your people, as far as your business is concerned. Yes, we are human and we will consider where support is lacking.  However, you have to make a choice to focus on the people who are assigned to you, and how that assignment can grow as a result of the service you provide.  As I mentioned, it is a kind and thoughtful gesture, when friends support!  Please remember this: If God placed these ideas on your heart, He will give you everything you need to succeed in that endeavor!

 

Boundaries: Where Necessary

Boundaries: Where Necessary

Boundary: a line that marks a limit.

Having real boundaries set, were not a real thing to me until I had a child. There were boundaries that I had subconsciously set, based on my moral compass, and time.  However, having a child made me really think about things that I could no longer allow or participate in, to ensure I was spending my time and energy where it was most important, with my child.

As I begin to grow in motherhood and as an entrepreneur, I began to set more and more boundaries. Boundaries were necessary in order for me to be to be organized, to have peace, and ultimately to be successful.  I was, initially, very reactive in setting boundaries, setting them only after a point of frustration.  Then I realized the benefit of proactively setting them to avoid frustration, confusion, and wasted time.  I also learned that when setting boundaries, I had to eliminate emotional inhibitions.  I couldn’t be concerned with how people would feel (if my heart was in the right place) and I had to focus on what was best for my child and my personal success.

Continue reading “Boundaries: Where Necessary”